drunk joke

Joke: The Golden Toilets

This joke starts with two boys and one outlandish claim.

Joke: Keeping Score With The Mrs.

This joke begins with a very drunk man returning home where his friend is in bed with his wife...

Joke: The Holy Drunk

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says: “Hey, I’m Jesus Christ!”

Joke: The Drunk Fisherman

A drunk ice fisherman drills a hole in the ice and peers into it...

This Joke Starts With a Very Drunk Man...

This joke begins with a very drunk man thinking he can outwit his wife.

Joke: The Annoying Old Drunk

An old man seems to be asking for it when he keeps annoying a huge guy at the pub...

Joke: The Drunk Minister

A cowboy and a minister are on a flight to Texas. Although the cowboy orders a whisky, there won't be any alcohol for the minister on this flight...

Joke: Three Drunks and the Fast Taxi

Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking...

Joke: The Coffee Shop and the Drunk Man

A drunken man walks into a coffee shop one day...

Joke: An Academic Drunk

Two policemen went on patrol late at night...

This Joke Starts With a Drunk Losing His Rolex

A drunk loses his Rolex on a dark street. Luckily for him, a good Samaritan soon passes by in order to give him a hand.

This Joke Begins With 2 Drunks at an Irish Pub...

This joke begins with 2 drunks at an Irish pub carrying on a conversation...

This Joke Starts With Three Drunk Men Getting In a Taxi

Three guys have been out drinking when they decide to get a cab and head home, but the taxi driver seems to have other ideas...

This Joke Starts With a Drunk Irishman Driving His Car

An Irishman has had a bit to drink, but decides to get behind the wheel anyway. It isn't long before he's pulled over by a cop in hot pursuit...

Joke: I KNEW You Were Drunk!

I got pulled over earlier today. This is the conversation I had with the police officer:

Joke: Drunken Lies

This joke begins with a very drunk man thinking he can outwit his wife.

Joke: The Graveyard Music

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple of days later, the town drunk was walking...

Joke: Pull Over!

An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.

Joke: The Talking Clock

Keith was known as a drunk to his friends. One night he was having a housewarming party for his new apartment.

Joke: All the Excuses

Jim's had a bit to drink, so he's trying to get out a breathalyzer using every excuse he can think of. Read this funny joke.

Joke: A Bizarre Afterlife

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber...

Joke: The Professor and the Party Goers

Four female sophomores go to another college over the weekend and get quite drunk. They only get back on Monday, missing their organic chemistry exam...

This Joke Starts With a Suspicious Driver...

This drunk driver had a bit of a surprise for the officer.

Joke: How Did You KNOW??

This man's wife knows how to tell if he got drunk...

This Joke Starts With a Rare Alcohol Expert

This joke begins with an alcoholic showing his skills...

Joke: Listening is Important!

Great joke about listening to directions while drunk

Joke: The Logic of Being Logical...

This joke begins with two guys having a conversation in the bar...

Joke: The KGB Prank

This joke begins with 3 Russians in a hotel room...

Joke: The Problematic Driver

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes...

I Don't Think It's Safe For Him to Use That Thing (Joke)

A drunk man turns up at a fairground booth and attempts to win a prize. When he hits three bullseyes in a row, everyone is amazed...

Joke: How to Explain It to the Wife

One day, a gentleman's wife is planning on hosting a dinner party and wants to class it up a bit, so she sends her husband out to pick up some snails for escargot...

Dirty Joke: Pub and Sausage

Sean and Mickey are planning to go out on St. Patrick's Day, but only have a few cents between them...

Have You Heard This Joke? How Did You KNOW??

This man's wife knows how to tell if he got drunk...

Joke: Putting the Foot Down

When Joe and Bob are doing some work together, Bob notices how much Joe fusses over his wife. He asks him what's going on...

Joke: I'll Let You Off If You Can...

A state trooper pulls over a juggler for speeding and tells him he'll waive the ticket if he performs for him at the roadside...

Joke: My Aunt's Story

The story of aunt Karen ...

Joke: How to Avoid Execution

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.

When Nature Calls, There's No Stopping It (Funny Joke)

Two women head out on a drunken night out. When they're one their way home, they just need to go, and end up in a darkened cemetery...

Joke: The Irish Father and His Son

An Irishman took his son to the bar on his birthday to buy him his first drink...

Hilarious Joke: I'll Let You Off If You Can Juggle...

A state trooper pulls over a juggler for speeding and tells him he'll waive the ticket if he performs for him at the roadside...

Have You Heard This Joke? How To Avoid Being Breathalyzed!

Jim's had a bit to drink, so he's trying to get out a breathalyzer using every excuse he can think of. Read this funny joke.

Great Joke: The Postman Doesn't Just Deliver Letters

A postman sees one of the people who lives in this houses he visits on his rounds. They get talking about a drunken Saturday night the weekend before...

Today's Joke: A Spontaneous Confession

He did NOT see this coming.

Have You Heard This Joke? A Hard Call!

The worst decision this man ever made...

Joke: Funniest Lines in History!

“The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good - spit it out.“

A Great Joke: Joke: The Rough Landing!

This joke begins with a new flight crew attempting a landing.

Joke: That's Not It...

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly....

Joke: Everything Seems to Be Going Wrong Today

When Joe and Bob are doing some work together, Bob notices how much Joe fusses over his wife. He asks him what's going on...

Joke Collection: 55 Hilarious Birthday Jokes!

Joke Collection: 55 Hilarious Birthday Jokes!

Joke: The Mother Superior Really Needs to Calm Down..

Mother Superior is dying, and her nuns comfort her during her last moments. Suddenly, one of the nuns has a great idea...

Joke Collection: 80+ Car Jokes and Puns!

Joke Collection: 80+ Car Jokes and Puns!

Joke: I Was Going to Tell You a Joke, But...

I'd tell you a constipation joke, but it's full of...

Joke Collection: 100 Knock Knock Jokes!

Knock knock jokes are some of my favorite, because you really have to be creative to make some of these! Here we bring you 100 of our best knock knock jokes for you to laugh over!

Joke Collection: 23 Hilarious Colonoscopy Jokes!

23 Hilarious Colonoscopy Jokes!

Joke Collection: 100+ Jokes About MONEY!

Over 100 jokes about money.

Joke Collection: 20 Saint Peter Jokes!

Joke Collection: 20 St. Peter Jokes!

Joke: This Blind Guy Has a Joke to Tell...

A blind man enters a bar, carefully, and finds his way to a barstool.

Have You Heard This Joke? The Story of Aunt K...

The story of aunt Karen ...

Joke: It's a Miracle!

A mother and her teen daughter arrive at the doctor's office...

Joke Collection: 90 Hilariously Serious Anti-Jokes!

Joke Collection: 90 Anti-Jokes

Joke Collection: 40+ Jokes About Bars and Bartenders!

more than 40 jokes, puns and one liners featuring bartenders.

Joke Collection: 52 Quarantine and Virus Jokes!

While there's nothing funny about the Covid-19 virus itself. It's the nature of humanity to deal with scary situations by laughing at its face. It's not making light of the situation, it's the jokes that make fun of something we're all currently scar

Joke Collection: 110 Jokes About The Institute of Marriage!

110 short jokes, jokes and one liners about the famous institute of marriage.

Joke Collection: 100 Puns and Jokes About Kids!

100 Puns and Jokes About Kids!

Joke Collection: 85 House Puns and House Jokes!

Our house is where a big chunk of our life takes place. Right now, during the quarantines and corona crisis, it's where almost ALL our life takes place.  No wonder we chose this subject as this our next Joke and Pun Collection!

This Joke Starts With a Blonde Being Sick of Blonde Jokes

This blonde is so fed up of blonde jokes that she decides to change her hair color. Little did she know that she would be exposed just the same...

This Is a Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes

80,000 blondes are in a bid to prove to the world just how smart they are. The lead announcer begins to ask for volunteers from the audience...

Have You Heard This Joke? These Jokes Are Rude!

These jokes are rude but clever!

Joke: Why Does My Wife Always Yell At Me At Night?

When two married men are discussing how not to get yelled at after a night out, it appears that one of the men has an inspired solution...

Joke: Revenge of the Blonde

blonde woman was sick and tired of all the unfair jokes about blondes...

Joke: The Disturbing Letter

This joke begins with a letter between brothers...

Joke: The Spirit of Christmas

This joke begins with 3 men dying and going before St. Peter, who has a task for them.

Have You Heard This Joke? What Happened Last Night??

He really can't remember what happened last night...

Joke: The Famous Grandfather

A trio of old veterans were bragging and jokes about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall.

Joke: The European Afterlife

What is the European hell and what is the European heaven? Find out in this hilarious joke.

Joke: Fudging the Age...

Joke: The Surprise Return

A defendant was on trial for murder.

Joke: Double the Trouble

A woman's husband was cheating on her...

Joke: What Will They Get?

A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem...

Joke: The Staring Viking

A Viking sailed across Europe challenging people to staring...

Joke: Grandma's Advice

A young Italian girl was going on her first date...

Joke: A Politician in the Village

A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were...

Joke: The Blond Painter

A Blond man is hired to paint the lines on the road.

Joke: The Blonde and the Bodybuilder

A beautiful blonde goes out with a bodybuilder...

Joke: The Woo Woo

A newbee hunter asked a experienced old hunter how to hunt bears.

Joke: Detectives in Training

A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives.

Joke: The New Mechanic

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change.

Joke: A Blonde at the Cinema

I went to see a movie the other night...

Joke: The Blondes and the Dent

A blonde lived with two blonde roommates...

Joke: The Lost Coat

Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant...

Joke: A War With the Devil

Fed up with God's creations, Lucifer decides to lead an army to destroy humanity...