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Weapons Jokes

Garden Quotes
"Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons."
- Dave Barry
Gun Puns
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Knight Puns
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Engineering Puns
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
These Headlines Are Real and Totally Hilarious
~ Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges. ~ Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy. ~ Filming in cemetery angers residents ~ Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons ~ Crash courses for private pilots ~ Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy ~ Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard ~ Bodies in garden are a plant says wife ~ 30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter ~ Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop ~ Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years ~ Miners Refuse To Work After Death