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Mattress Jokes

Food Poems
The ham's on your pillow,
The egg's in your sheet,
The bran muffin's rollin'
Down under your feet,
There's milk in the mattress,
And juice on the spread -
Well, you said that you wanted
Your breakfast in bed.

(Shel Silverstein)
Bed Puns
Nothing really mattress.
Quotes
Bob Monkhouse

“It’s been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it’s trying to blackmail me.”
Yoga Pick Up Lines
I'm a gymnast, so if you're down for some mattress yoga, count me in!
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
Wanna partner up so we can test the spring potential of my bed mattress?
One Liners for Kids
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.