Beaver Jokes

The Riverside High
By the river, next to a farm, there sits the "black cow" of the herd, smoking weed. A beaver swims up to her and asks: ‘Hey, cow, what are you doing?’ ‘I’m smoking weed.’ said the cow. ‘Give me some; I’ve never smoked before…’ exclaimed the beaver. The cow relinquished the joint, the beaver inhaled the smoke and immediately exhaled it. The cow replies, ‘No no, not like that! Look: you’re inhaling the smoke and holding it in your lungs for a long time. Besides, swim downstream for a bit, come back here, and then exhale. And I’m telling you, you'll really enjoy it.’ They did as planned. The beaver inhaled, swam underwater to the other side of the river, and after a few moments, felt quite bizarre. He came ashore, flopped down on the grass, and slumped. A hippo approached him and asked, ‘Hey, beaver, what are you doing?’ ‘Ah, see, hippo, I’m super high…’ ‘Give me some stuff; I want some too.’ said the bored hippo excitedly ‘Swim across to the other side to the cow - she will share some with you.’ The hippo swam upstream and came ashore, and as he approached the now-napping cow, she popped her eyes open and screamed: ‘Beaver, for goodness sake, LET SOME AIR OUT!’
Hello, eh. Girl your soft brown eyes remind me of the amazing beaver, eh.
Do you like my cologne? It’s derived from the musk gland of the industrious beaver.
Are you a beaver? Because I like your tail.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

(Amos Russel Wells)
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown