Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers