Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
Why do realtors love skateboards?
Because they can flip them whenever they want!
“Parenthood…it’s about guiding the next generation and forgiving the last.”
- Peter Krause.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Greece!
Greece who?
Are Greece and oil the same thing?
What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
I'm a student, and I play a game with myself every time I check my bank account.
It's called Meal or no Meal.
“I’ve got 99 problems and I’m gonna go to yoga and solve about 53 of them.” -Unknown
"It is the dull man who is always sure and the sure man who is always dull."
— H.L. Mencken
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
"Work out in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing."
– Unknown
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
Arrrr. Wanna search me for buried treasure?
What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo yo.
This ain't my first yo yo!
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
I wanna grow old together. I will stay with you until I'm sixty-four!
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
- George Benard Shaw
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was."
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
Why are wintertime fortune tellers so reliable?
They can see what is mitten in the stars.
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
Some things have to be believed to be seen. -- Ralph Hodgson
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
Wanna go out this weekend? Maybe go on a quick John-t around town?
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Don't eat with your mouth full!
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th