What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they're all in High School!
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
When do you stop at green and go at red? When you're eating a watermelon!
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? It never came out.
Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday?
None, only babies.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
How do you make an Octupus laugh? With ten-tickles
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
By the footprints in the butter!
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
What do you call a condiment with a hit single? a must"heard"
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
Can February March? No. But April May.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
Why did the cake grow a daisy?
It was made with flower.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”