Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Where do sheep go to get haircuts? To the Baa Baa shop!
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Flood lights!
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
What do you call a European Bigfoot?
Bigmeter.
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What three candies can you find in every school? Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? It never came out.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
How do you repair a broken tomato? Tomato Paste!
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls? A. It was a Barbie-