Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?
Because it has rust issues!
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What do you call a three-footed aardvark? a yardvark!
Did you hear about the carrot detective? He got to the root of every case.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
How do you drown a Hipster? In the mainstream.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty!
Can I tell you a joke about paper. Nah, never mind, its tearable.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? The police are calling it an axe-i-dent.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
What did the pink panther say when he stepped on the ant? A. deadant deadant deadant deadant.
What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He wanted to get to the bottom.
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? The Day-zzz
A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
Why did Tony go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
By the footprints in the butter!
What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A Bed
Why should you take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese