I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus