Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
How do you kill a blonde? Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!