What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!

Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.

Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.

What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"

How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.

How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!

Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards

Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.

Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.

Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!

What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.

What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!

Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.

What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.

Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.

Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.

What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.

Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.

An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.

Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.

Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"

How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"

A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”

How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back

Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."

Dustin and Jane (both blonds) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”

A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”

This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!