Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.

Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.

Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!

A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"

Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins

Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training

A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”

How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"

Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.

Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.

Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.

Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!

A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"

How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.

How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Dustin and Jane (both blonds) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”

Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.

A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back

How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.

A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"

A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."

Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."

How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.

A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."

Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)

A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.

A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!

Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.