Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training