Grammar

What Gender is the Computer?
What Gender is the Computer? A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. '"House" in French, is feminine - "la maison", while "pencil" in French is masculine - "le crayon."' One puzzled student asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher thought it would be a good exercise to have the students decide what they thought the gender should be. So she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you constantly find yourself spending more money on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine "le computer") because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model!
The comma sutra makes grammar sexy.
Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make.
Enlglysh is a Pane
Enlglysh is a Pane Hear eye sit inn English class; the likelihood is that eye won't pass An F on my report card wood bee worse than swallowing glass It's knot that eye haven't studied, often till late at knight Butt the rules are sew confusing, eye simply can't get them write Hour teacher says, "Heed my advice, ewe must study and sacrifice" Butt if mouses are mice and louses are lice, how come blouses aren't blice The confusion really abounds when adding esses two nouns Gooses are geese, butt mooses aren't meese; somebody scent in the clowns Two ultimatums are ultimata, and a couple of datum are data Sew wouldn't ewe expect it wood bee correct fore a bunch of plums to be plata? And if more than won octopus are octopi, and the plural of ox is oxen Shouldn't a couple of busses bee bussi and a pare of foxes bee foxen? Let's talk about spelling a wile, specifically letters witch are silent Words like "psychologist" and "wreck" shirley make awl of us violent And another example quite plane witch is really hard two explain If it's eye before e except after sea, then what about feign and reign? The final exam will determine how eye due, weather eye pass ore fail I halve prepared as much as eye can down two the last detail I'm ready two give it my vary best inn just a little wile And then isle take a relaxing wrest on a tropical aisle. (By Alan Balter)
I had my dad proof read an essay of mine back in High School. He said my grammar was a little funny.
Apparently I need to work on my pun-ctuation.
How does the Grammar Nazi party fund its government?
Through a syntax.
In grammar you shouldn’t do double negatives.
It’s a no no.
A bit late but here goes anyway: what do you call the elf who checks Santa's grammar?
A subordinate claus!
What vehicle does a grammar teacher drive?
A Syllabus.
I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly.
I am now looking at a long sentence.
I hate it when the grammar Nazis single me out.
It seems like a which hunt.
what do people win at fancy grammar competitions.
a posh trophy.
I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.
Death.
To get with the times, Grammar Nazi's have changed their name.
They now prefer to go by Alt-writists.
what do you need to have proper grammar?
a proper grampar.
What is Grammar?
The difference between knowing your sh*t, and knowing you're sh*t.
Grammar Nazis for math should be called Fibbonazis.