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Shoes Jokes

Mushroom Puns
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Peach Puns
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Nuts Puns
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Elf Puns
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I feel very blessed to have two wonderful, healthy children who keep me completely grounded, sane, and throw up on my shoes just before I go to an awards show just so I know to keep it real.”

- Reese Witherspoon.
“The only thing that kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents.”

- John J. Plomp.
Elvis Pick Up Lines
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!
Cherry Puns
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
A Blonde in Louisiana
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Spouse Puns
My wife and I have the same shoes. I guess you could say we are solemates.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
You know what they say about a man with big feet... he wears big shoes.
Girl, your skin is so smooth, and you smell good just like some new shoes.
Do you need new shoes?
Coz you've been running through my mind since the day I met you.
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!