What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.