What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.