You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
I'll fight you with my bear hands.
Oh, deer.