It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.