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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.