"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.