Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.