What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.