What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!