What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.