So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
French, French Revolution
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?