Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
You looked better when I was drunk.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.