You look like my future ex wife.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I think we need to become better strangers.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
"It's not me, it's you!"
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!