what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."