We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
I knew a guy who gave away his art but he only seemed to paint ducks with incomplete faces.
I asked about it once and he said "I like to bill them later."
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
The sun's favorite color is ultraviolet. Apparently, it glows with everything.
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
Q. Why are orange jokes so dumb?
A. Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.
When I broke my brother's favorite toy, he turned absolutely red in anger.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
What did the arirst say to his friend who was stressed? Don't worry, paintbrush it off.
My colleague kept on missing deadlines, so I advised him not to bite off more than he can blue!
What is the result of an art competition? A draw.
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
My dad and I saw this girl with a colorful backpack covered in pot leaves
He turned to me and said "thats a dope backpack". He is catching onto my slang.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
While building a house, the architect took his fingers and dipped them in a jar of blue ink. He wanted to get the blueprints!
Did you hear about the color bomb?
Yeah it blue up.
The artist shouldn't have taken that sculpture for granite, now it's stone-cold.
Why do old artists never die? They just put things in perspective.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
I had never seen a horse that white. Perhaps, that is why it is called a mayo-neighs.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
I'd hate to be the bearer of bad blues.
The painter did not want to sit idle because he knew that time white for no one.
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Q. What is a mime's favorite time of the day?
A. Dusk, because all the colors are muted.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.