Being judgmental is often seen as a bad thing. However, not a day passes where we must use our judgement to judge people, events and situations. We use our rich life experience and have learned a few things along the way. So judging is not really a bad thing... in moderation. So how judgmental are YOU?
Your daughter is 22 and decides to marry a man who has no job and only lives on his parents' money. What do you do?
Demand she does not marry him until a few more years pass
Demand she not marry him until he has proven he can work and earn
Bless their marriage. Love is all that matters.
Get to know him first. If he's someone I consider a good person I will support it.
You have 5 people to interview for a job position. The first candidate is 20 minutes late for the interview. What do you do?
I demand to know why they were late. If the excuse is logical, I let it go.
I don't even interview them. If they are not punctual enough to get to an interview they are not punctual enough to be on time at work.
Interview them but they start with a serious disadvantage
Ignore it. A one-time lateness can be caused by any number of reasons.
You are best friends with another couple but you are especially friendly with one of them, and they tell you they are cheating. What do you do?
Nothing. It's none of my business.
I won't do anything but I'll ask them to confess, it's not right.
I will tell them they have to confess or I will tell the other person myself
I say nothing but go and consult with my spouse or best friend to think about what to do
I will sever my relationship with them and consider telling on them to their spouse
You enter a shop and go to the cashier but she is nowhere to be found. After a few minutes, she gets out from the back with her boyfriend. Clearly they were messing around. How do you feel?
She should be ashamed, that's what home is for.
It's all well and fine but why make people wait and not take your job seriously?
I'll be seething and will probably say something to the manager if I see them later
You have been in business with a partner for 7 years. He then disappears for six months, leaving you in the lurch. When he comes back he says he was in rehab and couldn't contact you. What is your response?
I will have absolutely nothing to say to him. He's a bastard.
I will try my best to understand despite the hell he's put me through.
I will offer some condolences but immediately break up the partnership
I will demand compensation for the money I've lost for his drug habits.
I will continue working with him but only if I receive full compensation for the damage done to me.
You are walking down the street and you see a mother and child having a fight. Suddenly the mother slaps the child's face, causing them to cry. What do you do?
Nothing. I don't know the story behind this. There could be a good reason.
I will do nothing but I will be seething at her mistreatment of the child
I will try polite ways of making her aware she should not be doing this and certainly not here.
I will call out loud and tell her to stop it.
As you keep walking down the street, you see a young woman throwing punches at a much bigger man while he is covering himself (It's a violent street!). What do you do?
Nothing. He probably has it coming and did something to deserve this.
Nothing. There could be a good reason for it that both sides agree to.
Will call for her to stop. Violence is never the answer.
Try to inquire as to why she feels he deserves a beating.
Your friend has a mother who has been living with Alzheimer's a long time. She has four children and doesn't recognize them any more. Your friend has stopped visiting her because she can't stand it anymore. What do you say to that?
"It doesn't matter. She's your mother and you should be there as much as needed."
"You're terrible. She's your MOTHER! How can you even think that?"
"I understand. It must be really tough. You may come to regret it though after she passes."
"I understand. There's no right or wrong way to do this. You do as you feel."
Your brother comes and asks you for some financial help because times are tough. You agree. A week later, you hear he went on vacation he claims he sorely needed. What is your response?
He's not my brother anymore. He's a grifter.
It doesn't matter what the money was for. He asked for help and I gave it.
We will have WORDS when he gets back, you can be sure of THAT.
I will never help him in this way again. He cannot be trusted.
You are starting your own business and are looking for a helping hand. The most qualified person for the job, however, must reveal he was released a year ago from prison for larceny. What do you do?
There is no way on God's green Earth I'm hiring them!
I'll give them a chance. They've paid their debt to society so they are new people on a new page.
I hope they find a good job but I'd be too worried to enjoy working with them
I'd hire them but keep a watchful eye, at least for the first few months.
You see judging others as something sensible people avoid at any cost. You hug the world and welcome everyone in, no questions asked. If people prove themselves not to be worthy of that trust, then you stop trusting them. But for you, it's innocent until proven guilty.
Of course, you expect the same treatment from those you know and love, and they know they can always come to you when they do something wrong or get in trouble and get a sympathetic ear free from judgment. It's a great thing to have, and we're sure they appreciate you for it. The only word of caution we'd give is that a little caution CAN be a good thing, and this is still a brutal world at times, so trust - but be aware and be careful.
Some Judgment Reserved
You try your hardest not to judge too much because you don't believe in it. However, some life experiences have taught you some suspicions, and it's hard to completely avoid it when faced with situations that 'sound the alarm' in your head.
We don't know your personal experiences, but in our experience, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of judging. When used lightly and with as much an open mind as possible, judging can also be called caution, experience, intelligence, and wisdom.
You sometimes try to curb your judgment because you don't want to overdo it. However, you don't feel like you should apologize for using your awareness, experience, and intelligence to sense trouble before it begins. There's nothing wrong with verifying, with not trusting too easily. You fall less prey to traps and mischief that way, not to mention simple incompetence.
There's nothing wrong with using your experience and wisdom to avoid bad situations. Judgment can be very helpful, and sometimes you don't get to have a second chance at being careful. That said, letting mistrust become too much of a habit can breed more mistrust in others around you, making you feel like you can't trust anyone. Make sure it doesn't get out of control, and you'll be fine.
You rely heavily on the judgments you make. You are both judge and jury in most of your interactions with other people. You make no apologies for it. You know full well you pass on judgment and, as far as you're concerned, there's plenty of reason for it, based on your personal experiences. Life has taught you some lessons about who to suffer in this life and who not to, and you are not one to suffer fools.
We don't know your personal experiences, but in our experience, too much judging can become an obsessive habit, as well as one that creates bitterness in others. Some may not come to you with problems they are ashamed of, fearing your judgment. Consider that when you judge, for your own good.