We all want to satisfy our needs, but there are those who go to great lengths to manipulate others to ensure that they get what they want. Frequently, this emotional impact looks like a kind gesture, but if you learn how to recognize common manipulative methods, you’ll never become someone’s puppet on a string.
Below you’ll find the 11 types of manipulator that we come across in our everyday lives and information on how to behave should a manipulator try to assert their will over you:
Such people pretend to be helpless in order to make others deal with their responsibilities. In the majority of cases, women choose this role and use their supposed “weakness.” However, there are more and more men who are starting to behave like this too. These type of people usually have no issues climbing up the career ladder because of the people around who help them.
You need to ask yourself whether you’re ready to waste your time and effort on people who are clearly just using you.
2. Skillful Word Players
It’s okay to occasionally misinterpret someone’s words or actions, but skillful manipulators will deliberately say things in a certain way so they cannot be held accountable for their actions. Furthermore, when they see your reaction, they twist it so it seems that you’re the one who got them wrong. They also claim that they never promised anything.
You always have to hold such manipulators to their promises.
Can you remember those times you have made hasty promises under pressure? Manipulators make you answer them straight away and then they guilt you into doing something. It’s also almost impossible to refuse when it comes to a friend.
Next time somebody asks you to do something for them, don’t make a rushed promise. However, if you have already promised something, keep your word. You need to think twice before taking on extra responsibility.
4. Parental Manipulation
Sometimes, it’s our parents who manipulate us. They often become manipulators to impose their own views, control their children’s actions, and to interfere with their private lives.
This is why we have to learn how to defend our opinions and not let people control our lives. This can be difficult, but it’s really important.
This is probably one of the most common types of manipulator. Parents often think that they do everything to make their children happy, but they don’t understand that their nagging can often end up ruining happy marriages. For example, lots of mothers try to impose their views and explain to their child what the perfect partner should be.
To eliminate these manipulations, you should try to explain that your family consists of you, your beloved and your children. Be polite, but be strict and firm, too.
6. The Guilty Innocent
Unfortunately, there are people who completely disregard the phrases, decisions, and actions of others, even those of their family and friends. They react too quickly and, as a rule, regret their behavior. They also have an annoying habit of blaming everyone around them for their own mistakes. Manipulators try to put all the blame on you so that you feel guilty and they feel less responsible for their own failures.
Never be afraid to point out the real reasons for the behavior.
Arguments are an inevitable part of any relationship, but, unfortunately, it’s sometimes impossible to repair the damage done during a particular fight. This is why manipulators try to buy their partner’s forgiveness. Any gift turns into a bribe because that person is manipulating your gratitude.
If you want to show that you’re upset, it’s best to refuse the gift.
8. It’s Better For…
A manipulator tries to deprive you of your right to choose by using your sense of moral duty and love to control your life. If you’re manipulated in such a way, use the same method.
Moreover, you can offer a compromise that will suit you both. For example, if your spouse tells you that, “It’s better for the kids if you stay with them tonight,” you can reply something like, “I want to have fun, too. Let’s call the babysitter.”
If your boss is a manipulator, you might find that they scream a lot and tolerate no objections. They have an exaggerated feeling of self-importance and try their best to demonstrate this by criticizing and finding faults with their employees.
To avoid such negative situations and to protect your nerves, don’t be afraid to tell them that their requests don’t correspond to your duties. Don’t be afraid to tell them, “That’s not my job!”
10. Family Comes First
This is one of the most common types of manipulation in families. A manipulator will try to convince you that a child is the main part of a healthy relationship. They highlight the importance of family ties, manipulate your feelings, and want to replace your family values with their own. You need to avoid this type of trap and continue to think rationally.
Think about whether you’re ready for such changes or not. If you need some time, let your partner know. Don’t make hasty decisions though when it comes to such important questions.
11. Adult Child
Sometimes, a person cannot accept life as it is and their parents do everything for them, as if they were little kids. Such parents pay off all debts and try to balance two jobs while their adult children just go with the flow and manipulate their parents. Such a situation is harmful to both parties.
If your child is manipulating you, use your parental wisdom and help them adjust to the world.