On Thanksgiving, why did the turkey cross the table?
To get to the other sides.
My friend finally overcame his addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
He quit cold turkey.
What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?
It was too stuffed to say anything.
Why wasn't the taxidermist invited to Thanksgiving dinner?
No one wanted to try his stuffing
My Aunt with half a plate left: I don't think I can eat anymore, this meat is just not appealing to me.
Me: Have a potato, it has a peal.