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Thoughts Jokes

Classic Pick Up Lines
If you gave me a penny for my thoughts I’d have just one penny, because i only think about one thing and that’s you.
Sibling Puns
My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and asked for help naming them.
She liked my suggestion of calling the girl Denise, but had second thoughts when I suggested calling the boy Danephew.
Funny Birthday Poems
I wish you something, just can’t remember,
Don’t be upset, you’re my family member.
It was clearly, on my mind,
With so many thoughts, it’s hard to find.

Visions appear of colorful balloons,
In the background I hear those fine tunes.
Near the end of the dream, I can taste a delicious cake,
It must be your birthday, as I awake.
Diving Puns
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Flower Puns
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Love Puns
You octopi my thoughts.
Hiking Pick Up Lines
Hey, can I borrow your water filter? Cause you’ve got me thinking impure thoughts.
Food Poems
When I go out to dinner,
I do not want to share.
I don’t care what is on your plate;
I don’t want to compare.

I scan the menu up and down
And then make my selection.
When it arrives, it’s meant for me
And not for your inspection.

“You want to taste my fish?” I’m asked.
Some people never learn;
For then the expectation is
To taste mine in return.

And so the answer’s always No!
Yet comments never cease.
“Your fries look really good!” They are,
So let me eat in peace!

Each morsel on my dish is mine
And I intend to finish.
Perhaps my attitude will make
Your thoughts of me diminish.

I’m sorry if that is the case –
Dessert I’ll split just fine;
But when the meal’s delivered –
You eat yours and I’ll eat mine!

(Ilene Bauer)