"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Girl is your name baseball? Cause I just want to hit it with you.
Call me on the shellphone.
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
I got in touch with my inner self today...That's the a last time I use 1-ply toilet paper
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have it.
When I read Philippians 4:8, I think about you.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
What is the only similarity between a UFO and an affordable agent?
You usually hear about both but can never ever see one!
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Salami get this straight, you've stolen my heart.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
You’d better be a cardiologist because something about you makes me want to give you my heart.
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I wasn’t sure if I should make the first move… but I was raised to never Jack down from an opportunity
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
“When it snows you have two choices. Shovel or snow angels.”
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission