Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.