Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Man is Fatally Slain.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy