Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Man is Fatally Slain.
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop