Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years