Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Man is Fatally Slain.