Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Man is Fatally Slain.
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years