Heaven Jokes

Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
When are you due back in heaven?
I’m just wondering. Now that you’re here, who’s running heaven now?
I can die happily now because I have just seen a piece of heaven.
How was Heaven when you left it?
Man: Did you fall from heaven?
Woman: No, but I'm an Angel and died fifteen years ago... just like that pick up line.
Guy: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Girl: "No, but I did scrape my knees a couple times crawling up from hell."
Let me check your tag.
Yep, just as I thought - Made In Heaven.
Girl, you can kiss heaven goodbye because it's got to be a sin to look that good.
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
Can I check the tag on your clothes?
Why, because I'm made in heaven?
No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.
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