Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
What do bulls do when they go shopping? They CHARGE!
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
What did the leopard say after eating his owner? Man, that hit the "spot."
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five dollars,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten dollars!'
Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie? It's the one rated Arrrr!
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth? A Gummy Bear
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!
Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? I wanna get a head!
Did you hear about the paper boy? He blew away
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
"Did you copy hers?" she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!