I wanna bob for your apples.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Nice pumpkins!
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"