My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
I am a mean green machine.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Nice pumpkins!
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.