When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.