Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.