Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.