An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.