I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
The Basque Pro Shop.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.