Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone for so long but then it finally dawned on me.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
Have you heard about the latest restaurant that opened up on moon?
No, how is that restaurant?
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.