Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.