Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.